I, Eu, Ich, Yo, Je

Kill here insides what lives in my being. I am the daughter of whom, granddaughter of the grandfather, father and mother join together and do something that I am. Me. Damn, all this is very crazy! Again I picked me up watching the whole time like a flat thing. I see myself old, adult, married, without tooth, pregnant, I see the success, the defeat, the fear. Everything is so strong that in the end I don't understand what I am what I want what I love what makes me alive.

At the same time I would like to stop being so selfish.

The God who comforts me shows me the rest of the world, because the whole world has no time for questioning. The instinct for survival is much stronger than the vain philosophy.

Questions for themselves are vacuum. Perfect vacuum. Not an atom of the universe.

Stop. Breathe. It is what my conscience says.

I stop, breathe, cry. Because the tears are evidence of more sincere emotion when you're in a dark room alone without prospects. So I am: no prospects. Everything is so indifferent.

At the same time I would like to stop being so selfish.
I gave a real and eighty cents for the Big Bus Brazil today. Does that show that I am not so selfish like I thought?

Why living without notion about the future what to want what to love is so bad?
I swear that everything I do is so true, but not certain.

I d i d s o m u c h f o r t o d a y.

The best thing is when i have no words. I try to find them from tthe deep of my memmory. They fly over my brain and I can't. I force. I think. I stop. Where it is. I wanted to reffer anything with regard to sensations, but it's not that so, it's something beautiful but that's with regard to sensations. The strength is enormous, and my body forgets everything, I tremble, my fingers shake without my wish. And even now I can't.

I can't because what I really wanted to say with the words I didn't found perhaps were not more important than to find them.

At the moment in which I put myself disposed to find something that I forget, what i really forget is what i wanted to say. Because at one instant the words are more important than the sense, or the own message.

It's like all the people in the world wanted to say something, searching for the words to explain. But, it doesn't remain a drop of reality. There's only the image of what was said.

Walking by the streets, talking with friends, I don't retain myself in what is said.

What is said is banal. Unless that there are fewer word to see.

I wanted the world to stop now. So I stop and watch every detail, until the growing young little grass between the parallelepipeds of the city. Why no one sees?

To Look.
The breath of God also gave us eyes, 'cause dry eyes alone are only a huge empty incomplete with sensations.
The world doesn't stop, nothing stops never. I will not stop watching the little grass, or contemplate the vastness.
One is never too young to realize what is not realized.
One is never too old to ignore what has been understood.

The essence is very complete. No one need power to take it. Just leave. Go.